Maven is the loveable and dopey corgi of TrackMaven. You’ve all heard him barking on Twitter and Facebook, but every so often when Maven takes a break from digging, Monday becomes Maven Monday here on the TrackMaven blog. Here you’ll jump into the brain of TrackMaven’s data digging pup. Yes, we let the cat corgi out of the bag. Take it away Maven…
Hey guys, it’s me, Maven, the lovable corgi face of TrackMaven. I decided to start a blog for us anthropomorphic company cartoons – the Fail Whales, Hipmunks and Reddit Aliens of the world. After all, even if we’re two-dimensional trademarks, we still have three-dimensional needs.
Get ready for content that’s about company cartoon characters, by a company cartoon character: me, Maven! I’m the lovable corgi face of . . . wait, did I say that already? I’m just so excited!
Let’s get into our first topic: money.
Money is a sensitive issue for a lot of us online two-dimensional logo types, mainly because we don’t have any. Well, not me personally, but I’ll explain that in a second. See, most company mascots getting into the business now work for tech startups. And getting hired at a hot tech startup seems like a dream come true, until you realize they have zero money to pay you, your company got acquired and the new boss doesn’t like you, or your stock options won’t vest until long after the company’s gone out of business. Your animated dreams of cartoon caviar go right out the Windows.
At that point, you can try to offer your services to another company, but your image has been irrevocably tainted by the failure of your former employer. Your only hope is that a corrupt megacorporation like Enron needs a cute cartoon to distract from its dirty dealings. What I’m saying is, company mascot work is not easy. I had several friends urge me to pursue kid’s cereal boxes or web comics instead. So why do I work here at TrackMaven? Because I decided that I would do things a little differently. You see, I’m not just the face of TrackMaven – I’m also the owner.
Yup, that’s right – TrackMaven is the first company founded and owned by its cartoon mascot. I made sure to put my name in the company name just so everybody knows who’s in charge. I determine my own salary, I set my own hours, and I won’t ever be replaced by a younger version of myself if my pixels start to sag. I don’t just represent the company – I am the company. And sure, owning your own business is hard work. But that’s what I hired the humans for. These humans, by the way, are for specifically for legal purposes. Unfortunately, the laws about the ownership rights of cartoon logos are still murky in this country, although someday I hope we mascots will come together to change that. After all, if corporations are people, why not animated dogs?
But even if the Feds don’t recognize my right to own property, I want this blog to be a place where I can tell the truth and inspire other cartoon mascots to dream big. You know that old New Yorker cartoon about how on the Internet, nobody knows you’re a dog? Well this is a blog where everyone will know I am a dog – a dog that exists on the Internet. This is groundbreaking stuff – and given my well- documented affinity for digging, I think it’s clear I’m just the corgi to break new ground.
My tail is wagging like a maniac over here! I’ll be back with more next week.